Honor your father and mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
Exodus 20:12 CSB
When it comes to the Ten Commandments, a picture of two tablets often comes to mind for many. We can see Moses holding these two tablets of stone as he comes down Mount Sinai. On these two tablets are the Ten Commandments having been handwritten by God Himself. It is thought that one tablet had the first four commandments (those that deal with our relationship with God), and the other tablet contained the last six commandments (those that deal with our relationships with other people).
As we examine the 5th Commandment found in Exodus 20:12, we see that one thing is very clear: God high values the home.
God values the home
The first institution that God created was the family. Long before governments or even the church came about, God created the family. It is the family that best shows the picture of God’s relationship with us.
In the 5th Commandment, we see two parts. The first part is about how children are to honor their parents. The second part is more insinuated. It is the importance that parents should be honorable. It is these two parts that we will focus on during our time today.
What is honor?
The Hebrew term that is translated as “honor” is one that means “to be heavy or give weight to.” This has nothing to do with putting a lot of food in front of your parents and watching them scales spin. In Bible times, if something had great weight, it was seen as having great value. When we honor someone or something, we are making them more valuable in the eyes of other people. It is like when a soldier or sailor is recognized and honored for his/her service to our country on Veteran’s Day.
When we honor our parents, we do things so that when people look at us they say, “They must have had some great parents!” One of the top responsibilities that God has given to children is that they make their parents look good.
How we honor our parents
When we think about honoring our parents, I believe that there are three important tools that the LORD has given us for the task. These are not like the instructions that may come in an “Assembly Required” purchase that we have gotten. The instructions that come with share the tools that are needed, but it is more that one person who has found out that many times there are other tools that are needed. These tools that God has given to us will do the job.
Obedience
If there is one verse that parents commit to memory and share with their children, it is Ephesians 6:1.
Children, obey your parents in the LORD, because this is right.
Ephesians 6:1 CSB
I know that I have used this verse in my house many times. Let’s be honest… so have you. This is another way of saying what the 5th Commandment is about.
The phrase “in the Lord” is an important one. Sadly, there are too many cases of parents asking their children to do things that are wrong. Does a child have to obey their parents if they are asking them to sin? In no way! The Lord does not want any of us to sin. But as long as what our parents are not asking us to do anything that goes against God’s word, we should obey.
Attitude
In Philippians 2:5, we are told that we should have the same attitude that Christ had. When we look at Jesus’ life, we see that time and time again He honored his earthly parents.
- Luke 2 – Jesus was 12 years old. His parents realized that He was not with them as they were leaving Jerusalem. Mary is worried as any good parent would be. When they find Him, they let Him know how worried they had been. In verse 49, Jesus tells them that He must be doing His Heavenly Father’s will. In verse 51 though, we see Jesus being obedient to His earthly parents and following them.
- John 2 – Jesus was at a wedding feast. The wedding party had run out of wine. Mary comes to Jesus and asks Him to help. He says that the time for everyone knowing that He was the Messiah had not come yet. But what do we see? He does what His mother asks of Him.
- John 19:25-27 – While Jesus hung on the cross, He made sure that His widowed mother would be cared for by placing her in the care of His disciple, John.
What is our attitude towards our parents? Our attitude determines the direction of our actions. We are called to honor our parents and by having the right attitude towards them, we can do that well.
Notice that Jesus didn’t just honor His parents as a child. He even did so as an adult. For many of us, we have been out of our parents’ houses for some time. This does not give us a pass on honoring them. As long as our parents are our parents, we are to honor them.
Language
A third way that we can honor our parents is with our language. Words are very powerful. You may have heard the little saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That is a lie. Just ask the person who is being called names by their peers at school or work. Words have the ability to make or break a person.
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.
Colossians 4:6 CSB
Sometimes our speech isn’t seasoned with salt. Sometimes it is seasoned with hot sauce. Sometimes it is seasoned with vinegar. We would do well to remember that according to Matthew 12:36, we will have to give an account for every word that we speak.
Parents: Be honorable
Now that we have talked about honoring our parents, we need to examine the other side of this coin. When parents choose to live a life that is less than honorable, then the children are put into a difficult place.
Paul reiterated this commandment in Ephesians 6 when he talked about the family:
Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the LORD.
Ephesians 6:4 CSB
As parents, are we bringing the children that God places in our lives up in a way that will produce honor, or are we bringing them up to be filled with bitterness, anger, and rebellion? Just as children have a part to play in this commandment, so do we as parents.
God has placed a great responsibility on parents. A parent is the first picture that a child has of what God is like. Because of this, we must make sure that we are exercising our given authority in responsible ways and not in emotional ways. We do this by basing our authority not on personal desires but on the principles that come from the Word of God. For that to happen, we must spend time in the Word and applying it to our daily lives.
Conclusion
The fifth of the Ten Commandments is one that is far more valuable than most people give it credit. It is so much more than just treating parents right. It is about honoring them. When we bring honor to our parents, we also bring honor to our Heavenly Father.
How are you doing in honoring your parents? We want to experience the greatness of God in our lives, but it will not happen if we do not truly honor our parents. We may have not done a great job of this in the past. We have an opportunity to do what we are supposed to now.
